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You Don’t Have To Suffer Through Bad Sex

Sex Therapy Can Help!


“You don’t have to suffer through bad sex!” You have no idea how often I want to scream this in someone’s face (nicely, of course). Each time I hear someone say that their sex life isn’t as enjoyable as they had hoped it would be, I’m disappointed–and it happens all the time.

I truly believe that everyone deserves to have good sex. So many people believe that they have to suffer through bad sex because it can’t or won’t change. That’s not true! And it’s why I’m so passionate about this field. I want everyone to have a sex life that is exciting and satisfying, and I want them to know that it’s possible.

Unfortunately, for so many people, sex feels like nothing but a struggle. That’s where we step in! Whether sex is painful or just plain boring, sex therapy can often help.

Areas Sex Therapy Can Help

It would probably be quicker to list the areas in which sex therapy does not help. The benefits of sex therapy reach far and wide! Essentially, if you have a problem that involves sex, we can probably help. We often see clients who are dealing with things such as:

  • Difficulty becoming aroused
  • Erectile dysfunction
  • Pain during sex
  • Sexual trauma
  • Out-of-control sexual behavior
  • Sex postpartum
  • Infidelity
  • Clients who may be questioning their sexuality
  • Mismatched sex desire levels
  • Open up their relationship
  • Improve communication about sex

These are just some of the concerns we can help with! There are so many reasons our clients come to see us, and there are so many tools we can use to help.

We May Recommend A Doctor

Sex therapists typically use a holistic approach when working with clients. Therefore, we often collaborate with healthcare providers, such as pelvic floor therapists and sex medicine doctors to rule out medical problems that may be causing our clients’ symptoms. However, even if a medical issue is present, therapy may still be of benefit! Symptoms that arise from a medical problem can often cause anxiety around sex. And at times, anxiety can be the cause of the medical challenge. It’s important to address both the physiological and psychological roadblocks. 

Something to note: sex shouldn’t hurt! If you’re experiencing pain during sex, please consult a doctor (if you’re in Cincinnati and need a recommendation, let us know!).

Addressing Anxiety and Shame

This is a big one. Once a medical condition is ruled out, we look at psychological causes of sexual dysfunction. Anxiety and shame can greatly affect one’s sexual experience, including the ability to become aroused, maintain an erection, orgasm, etc.

To be frank, anxiety and shame can completely kill the mood and make it difficult to want or enjoy sex. It can also make it difficult to understand who you are and what you want. We’ll work on identifying your beliefs and expectations around sex, gain new skills and education, and build confidence. In doing so, the goal is to increase sexual desire and satisfaction–AKA have good sex!

Mindfulness Matters

Do you ever meditate? Take those skills to the bedroom! Mindfulness is a tool we often recommend that can make a huge difference in your sex life. Clients learn to be present, paying attention to the sensations they’re feeling in their body. This is especially helpful for people who experience anxiety around sex or who tend to get distracted by their thoughts during sex. The goal is to let go of negative (or distracted) thoughts by tuning into your body and what you’re experiencing in the moment. Studies have shown that mindfulness decreases stress and increases arousal and sexual satisfaction.

And So Much More!

As always, this is not a comprehensive list of the tools we use or issues we treat. Whether you’re experiencing pain during sex, you feel like you have no sex drive, or you and your partner simply can’t talk about sex without arguing, sex therapy may be able to help. We’re here to support you as you tackle these challenges; you don’t have to try to figure it out alone. 

Also, don’t wait! Many people think of therapy as a “last resort.” That’s not the case! If you’re experiencing difficulties with sex or your relationship, don’t wait until things get really bad to seek help. We’re here to help whether things or awful, or if there’s simply just room for improvement.

Follow Taylor Kinman:

Mental Health Clinical Counseling Student